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Marriage is meant to last forever—according to wedding toastslove songsand various religious texts, anyway—and given our ever-lengthening average life expectancyforever is a long, long time. It's one thing to pledge eternal love as you stand fresh-faced and beaming at your bride on the day of your nuptials; actually living out that promise twenty, thirty, or forty years later can be quite another. Even the happiest, healthiest marriages require a certain amount of work to stay that way, but what happens when your relationship has you saying, "I think I hate my wife?

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When a husband comes home late day after day, whether it is because of working long hours or socializing with friends, it can become a cause of contention between couples. Breakdown of the t-family system has made it tougher for the wives waiting at home to manage such long hours as well as the accompanying responsibility of the household all by themselves. While many do have a routine through the day, they too crave adult company as evening approaches. Sadly, the problem of husbands coming home late routinely is quite rampant.

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We have a slew of women reaching out to us with this same problem. Returning home late may start as an occasional thing but gets more frequent.

4 possible reasons your husband chooses his friends over you

A 7 pm time becomes 7. When this happens, it is a matter of time before the situation explodes, leading to a huge argument. When work interferes with love havoc is inevitable. So, what can you do to prevent that? Can you establish an appropriate time for your spouse to come home? Read on to know. Many husbands come home late from work and they could be over ambitious and or they could be loathing getting back home because of a nagging wife. There could be many reasons why your husband uses his home as a motel and clocks in only for bed and breakfast.

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Maybe your husband is almost due for promotion, he is over ambitious and he is working late because he wants it to come through. OR he is taking up extra work to up his skills for a better position. Perhaps his boss heaps some of his work on him and he has to pick up the slack.

It's actually normal to "hate" your wife sometimes.

It is a crazy rat race out there and most men feel that they are doing the equivalent of two jobs in one. Speak to him and understand his side of the story. Then have a discussion about what is a mutually acceptable appropriate time for your spouse to come home. Even if you understand his predicament, explain to him the imbalance it is causing in your relationship and that you are struggling with it.

You must support him in this but also drive home the point that you both and your family are missing out on precious time together. If your husband is coming home late, could his buddies be the reason behind it?

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Most men love their boy time. It could be about watching that cricket match or having that pint of beer after work or simply a workout session.

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One beer can quickly turn into three. A simple quick coffee can get extended into dinner. A workout session becomes about catching up with other friends later. If his friends are the reason behind your husband coming home late more often than not, you must speak to him about it.

Instead of attacking him, tell him that while you respect his need to have his own social lifecommitment toward his marriage and family is important too. Suggest scheduling regular date nights so that you can blow some steam off together as a couple. This way you can cut back on his outings with his friends without making him feel like he is being caged in responsibilities. Make sure whatever you plan for these date nights is fun for both of you when.

If your husband stays out late binge drinking or smoking because at home you will try to control his indulgences, then this is a cause for concern. There could be other addictions such as porn, drugs or gambling at play here. Perhaps he has not been able to garner the courage to discuss these issues with you? Or maybe he is in denial about it altogether.

As a spouse, you can play a vital role in Wife stays out late with friends your husband out of addiction. However, he has to be the one willing to walk the long road of recovery. Learn to watch out for such worrying and offer to help him without being demeaning or judgmental. Set boundaries, and insist on honesty. Talk to him about getting help either through online professional counselling or at local support groups in your locality. Related reading: 10 ways to get your husband to quit smoking. There might be some unresolved issues between you both and coming home late could be his way of avoiding a confrontation.

Maybe you have asked for something and he is not comfortable giving it but cannot tell you that honestly. Or he has done something wrong and is scared to face the consequences of his actions. It is also possible that he wants to avoid intimacy and had decided to avoid you to avoid it.

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Brainstorm and figure out what is it about your interpersonal relationship that is keeping him away and work on it. Have you done something to annoy him? Are there issues you have been sweeping under the carpet? The good news is if you can resolve what problem is driving a wedge between you both, he will be back to his normal self in no time.

4 reasons your husband chooses his friends over you + what to do about it

Perhaps he does not want to help you around the house. Maybe he is expected to put the baby to sleep at night or do the dishes. Try to reason it out with him and explain that he needs to shoulder domestic responsibilities. Wicked, yes. But giving him a taste of his own medicine might just be what he needs to act as a responsible partner. Extramarital affairs are more common than you think.

Just because your husband comes home late is not a that he is having an affair. There will be many reasons for him to be out till late— work, office parties, social get-togethers, his guy friends. It is natural for you to feel resentful if you are stuck at home.

Here is what you can do put yourself out of misery if your husband comes home late consistently:. The first rule to follow is to ask and not to conclude. Try and understand the reason for the delay in his return. Remember complaining will make an already tired spouse even crankier and he may shut him down totally. First, you must tell him that not having him around is making you extremely sad just because you miss his company.

Also, speak about some sweet memories of the past and use this opportunity to take him to a time when both of you were more relaxed. Why is he spending so much time away from home? Have you said something that hurt him? Or is it something else? Have this conversation only when the two of you have time. Make sure the kids are in bed, the kitchen is closed, and there are no distractions around.

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It is important to create a calm atmosphere. A glass of wine can help both of you open up and speak more freely. Here is one secret, if you are a stay-at-home mom, you will resent your husband simply because he can step out without thinking of a hundred things to plug. And that can build irritation in the marriage. Remember not to let resentment overtake you. Remind yourself what he does outside is also for his family.

After all, you are both on the same team and not adversaries. Do you start cribbing about your in-laws the minute he is home?

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Or remind him umpteenth time how hard you work the entire day looking after the house and the kids? Make your home a happy place for him to come home too. Remember the show Friends where Monica drew Chandler a bath? Turn your home into a safe sanctuary he looks forward to returning to and not a fighting arena he wants to avoid.

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Check if nagging is killing your marriage because it surely can. A woman wrote to us about growing up with a nagging mother who she always despised and without realizing internalized the same traits! She told her husband what he called nagging was essentially her care because she was worried about him.

Do not nag, simple and straight. Yes, you are fuming inside but do not scream. Wait till he eats and then have a conversation about it.